Happy Birthday, Child B

Thinking back.... I remember thinking, Wes got his wish.  He wanted a son (to carry on the name) and a baby girl to spoil.  When I came to (from the anesthesia of C-Section), he was holding her and rocking her and calling her his little pumpkin.  By the way, she was kind of orange-colored (jaundiced).

So this December, she is 23.  My sweet baby is 23.  A grown woman.  A successful career.  A college degree.  A (dare I say it) Significant Other (very nice young man with good prospects).

Guess what she wanted for her birthday.  (You'll never guess....)  Truffles.  That's correct.... Chocolate balls of ecstacy.  She may be Daddy's Little Pumpkin, but she has her mom's priorities.

What she got was a family get-together at the restaurant of her choice (Mexican Food!), with the extended family and her SO.  I had a great time.  We talked and ate and ate and talked and laughed.  It was the best sort of family get-together.

The best part was when her Dad speared the SO with THE QUESTION:  You do realize that this is my daughter..... how far away do you plan to drag her from us?  *If I was the SO, I would have swallowed hard, and said, "I don't plan to take her away from you at all, Sir.  The Federal Government will do that for me."  What could her Daddy say? 

So, I guess the point of my long dissertation is that I am old.  I was called a "middle-aged woman" the other day.  It is a sad day when I realize I am old.  No longer one of the younger set, I am not even of the Jet Set.  Just an old woman.....

Looking forward to new teeth.  A hearing aid.  A cane.....  Someone else paying my bills..... *Hey*  this could be good!!!!!!

Football Widow

I know there are other football widows out there.... You know, during the football season, your loving, and otherwise most excellent spouse is missing in action --- well, not missing, sitting in front of the TV, glued to the latest bowl game.  He (or in some instances - She) can only speak in football-ese, doesn't even know where these teams live, but their bowl game is the most important event in life (at least, during this season).

I enjoy football.  I even have some teams that I follow.  But you know, I don't know who the terapins are --- Do you?  I know the Wolverines (Michigan), the COOGS (Houston), the Longhorns (Texas), the Aggies (obviously)....  But who is the terapins?  Is that like the "Thundering Herd"..... 

Well, you can see my confusion.  And more importantly, I do know that those young men on the field are someone's son.....  So.....  ? GO TERAPINS!!!

May you always be free.....

Regulations can be confusing

Today, I spent the day trying to understand a set of regulations.  It was written in English.  At least, I think it was English.  I could read the words, but comprehension.... came up a little short.  I was reduced to asking for directions.  Yes, I know you find it difficult to believe, but I, myself, did ask for directions.....  And you know what, the explanation was as confusing as the regulations.

That's what you get when you ask a buraeucrat.....  But.... but.... I think I could be a "b"  (that's bureaucrat.... get your mind out of the gutter).   I push papers and move numbers and make policies and procedures and in general, make life difficult for others.  Yep, that's a bureaucrat.

Dang!  I knew that education would come in handy!

An insurmountable obstacle

Have you ever heard that old saying, "to eat an elephant, you just take one bite at a time."  I have been thinking about that adage....  I have been charged with what seems like an insurmountable obstacle - to get certifcation for stroke specialization.  After reviewing the standards, we have much more to accomplish than we have in place.  The Gap Analysis is a little scarey....

There are policies to write, people to train, job descriptions and competencies to implement, staff to get in the same boat, physicians to encourage, .... what more can I tell you?  I may be in over my head.

Those of you who know me well know that I love a challenge.  And, this is the mother of all challenges.

As I ponder this sword of Damacles, I also think back to other perceived inmsurmountable obstacles.... the death of a child.......

In the scheme of the world, this is the least of my troubles.  I can do this.  I will do this. 

I hope......

Change is in the Air....

My favorite cousin believes that every seven years, our life is renewed.....  I suppose that means major change.  I could buy that, but it seems like my life is 'renewed' about every 18 months.  Wonder does that mean I am using my '9 lives' faster than most.... hum, something to ponder.

Anyway, change is in the air.  Some kind of change - what kind I am not sure.  Relocation?  Career?  Success?  Failure?  New?  Old?  Still wondering...... 

How about you?  Are you feeling the nip in the air, the change of the seasons?  I am.  But I am not ready for cold weather.  I am cold most of the time now - not looking forward to the chill of winter.  But I am looking forward to whatever is ahead.  After the sense of doom faded, I am ready for my future.  Whatever that may be.... 

Time for a Change

I have often wondered about changes in the Fall (that's Autumn for some of you.)  The leaves change, although, in the South, we don't see much of that.  The wind shifts from the south to the north.  Nights are cooler.  DAYS are cooler.  Band and Football.  Well, you get the drift.

This applies to me as well.  I get a feeling that I should be doing something.  Could it be a leftover ingrained memory from my Mom - "we gotta get out the winter clothes and pack up Summer."  Usually that meant handing down those clothes that didn't fit anymore and getting handdowns that didn't fit anymore.... 

But this year, it means making some decisions.  To move or not to move (away from the beach).  To stay at this hospital or to move to another hospital (that is really not in my hands -- it is in the hiring committee's).  Another year of struggling to pay all of the bills (that one I am really sick of.... by the way.) 

To hover or not to hover.... My kids tell me that I am a helicopter mom.... (I couldn't disagree more, but perception is everything.)  On second thought, is it a helicopter mom to care, to follow and to inquire?  I say.... maybe. 

Anyway, the senses and feelings of Fall continue to plague me.  Today on the beach, the winds were cooler and the waves were higher with white caps.  It was lovely.  The windows open to allow in that wonderful breeze...  it seems like paradise again.  Not one mosquito bite from the walk.....  ah, heaven.

As I read back over this note, I realize I am rambling, so I will bring it to a close.  Unfortunately, that rambling is stuck in my brain....  Like the lyrics to a song that just won't go away.  One of these days soon, it will stop, but likely after I stop mulling over things I can't change and accept that what will be, will be....

Que sera, sera.

Beautiful Weather

If you are not having beautiful weather where you are, I am sorry.  But the weather here is wonderful - temperature in the 80's, no rain, humidity is tolerable, the mosquitoes are rare (for here), a slight breeze.  Ahh, heaven.  No, I don't live in the bahamas....

But I had the opportunity to meet a gentleman today who does.... live in the Virgin Islands.  I would think, why would you consider moving from a beautiful vacation destination that most people would give their paychecks to visit - to come back to the mainland? 

Well, as an old friend said once about living in Hawaii --- "You wake up every day in eFing paradise." 

I can hear your sigh now...  I am getting to the point.  Life is the same, no matter where you live.  It is the people who make the difference (in my humble opinion.)  Those people who make the colors of the world a little brighter.  People who make you laugh.  People who respect and admire you.

That is what makes paradise --- not a location, but a support system that can be depended on. 

THAT is paradise.....

The spirit of cooperation

A few years ago, I was privileged to be part of a program to teach front-line nursing leaders to master the art of managing a project.  It included identification of a need, problem-solving, developing a plan and implementing the plan.  To a man, they each said the hardest thing associated with the project was getting others to buy into the plan or goal.

Today, I participated in a work group that was developing a fairly simple goal.  Documentation format for a simple treatment of patients - urinary catheter care documentation.  There were around twelve people in the room.  There was already a format to develop the documentation - it still look us almost 2, count 'em, two hours to complete a few pages of electronic documentation.

I left the meeting and went back to the nursing unit where I mentioned as I walked through that I had just left a 'particularly harrowing meeting'.  One of the staff members looked confused and said "Harrowing?  Why would you be taking harrowing at a meeting?"  Now it was my turn to look confused -- "Huh?"

She said, "I don't know what that is."  I spelled it to her, "H A R R O W I N G"  It means, like particularly difficult or scarey.  She laughed and said, "I thought you meant heroin". 

Now it was everyone laughing as we joked about how heroin could be harrowing in the end.

You are wondering how I went from participating in a diffult project to heroin, aren't you? 

COMMUNICATION.  All effective projects are limited and supported by communication.  My interaction with the young staff member depicts the very issue of the project.  Everyone must learn effective communication techniques and use those techniques to be successful in endeavors.  A breakdown in communication leads to failure to succeed.

So, heroin can be harrowing....

Sundays

Here I am, sitting with my feet propped up, listening to some "hula" music...... wondering..... what am I going to do today.  Yesterday, I spent the morning cleaning out closets and drawers.  If I might be so bold, that is yeoman's work!  I have new respect for those people who do that sort of thing on a regular basis -- although, honestly, if I did it more often it might not have been such a job.

Sunday.  I can go walk on the beach.  I could go visit with family (always a hit with me.)  I can finish cleaning the house and do the laundry (always at the bottom of the list and least favorite.)  Gotta go to church.....  That means getting in the shower soon!  So, what to do.... what to do.

It occurs to me that this quandry is reminicent of the problem that many of our (our in the general term) young folks face.  What to do.... what to do.  From the armchair of middle age (*sigh*), I see that as a society, we make young people decide thier future when they are least prepared to make that decision.  How can an individual decide what it is they want to spend thier life doing, when they haven't ever done anything?  Travel, experience life, enjoy the sun, learn to interact successfully with others. 

But the other side of that coin is..... deciding for them.  Child A and Child B would certainly not ALLOW that to happen, but of course, I do know what is best for them.  It's true!  Child A should be a music teacher (combine his love of music and his natural gift of helping others).  Child B should be an author (she has been writing books since she could hold a pen).

Hummmm...... thinking back to when I was that age, I had to fight with my mother to be allowed to do what I wanted to do - be a nurse.  She felt that I was smart enough to "be a doctor" - YUCK!  I am smart enough to be a great nurse.  (That is not hubrus, but honesty.)  I chose that and have loved that career since then. 

Could the real problem with our youth of today be that they have too many options? 

Rite of Passage

A Rite of Passage....  You know, those milestones which mark everyone's life, in some manner or another.  I read somewhere that there are 5 pivotal moments in everyone's life, or was it 7?  Well, anyway, 5 or 7, milestones.  Things like.... falling in love.  Or graduation...  Or finding the perfect pair of Mary Jane heels (that only took me years....).

So, Rite of Passage.  When I held my children in my arms the first time, thier life flashed before my eyes.  (Now, what they wanted wasn't a factor when they didn't know what they wanted.)  Anyway, Rite of Passage.  Having the kid off the family dole.  Paying thier own way.  The biggest raise I will ever get is having my children pay thier own way.  Imagine.  Dream.  Wonder what it will be like.

What is all of this leading to, you may ask....  Well, Child B has been hired by her company.  She has PTO days, health insurance, all the good things in life.  CONGRATULATIONS, my sweet girl. 

In addition, Child A believes he may have found his calling in life.  CONGRATULATIONS, my beautiful boy.

I am in a state of disbelief.  Could it be that the second part of my life is concluding?  Can it be true that I am...... dare I say it....... *gulp*  MMMMM.... middle aged????  *tears are welling up and my bottom lip is quivering*.....  I'm not ready......

Wait, do you think this means I can retire sometime in the future.... Play with grandbabies......  Travel????

This could be good........

Cooking for the Cure

Breast Cancer....  continues to kill women (and men) every year.  This is the first year that I have been involved in the activities that support breast cancer awareness, but I must say that I am having a great time - for a great cause.

Tomorrow, the hospital is supporting a 'bake for the cure' bake-off.  They will be raffling off donated cakes (or in my case) cupcakes.

They turned out so great!!  I have two different versions, both of which I am very proud.  I wish I had pix for you, but you will have to settle for a description.

Version 1 is a cupcake made with spice cake and bits of dried apples topped with caramel and chopped pecans.  It tastes like a candied apple with nuts.  YUMMY!

Version 2 is a cupcake made with pumpkin spice cake and topped with cream cheese frosting, pink sprinkles and pink meringue cookies in the shape of a pink ribbon.  I haven't been able to eat one of those, but it is SO cute.

Of course, all of the money raised will go to breast cancer treatment and research. 

The most important thing a woman can do is to recognize that everyone is at risk (even men).  So, GET THOSE BOOBIES SQUISHED!!!  It could save your life.....

The blessing of leaving early

I left early today.  It was heavenly to get away and spend some time with my SO, eating, drinking, shopping, .... being merry and, the real reason for leaving early, getting a haircut.

We drove to the BIG city of Pearland and went to the party store.... I needed 'stars' for my staff.  Whenever a patient tells me that a particular person did a really great job, and can NAME the person, I give them a star.  *Some of them are very disappointed that they have not gotten one yet....*

Next, we went to dinner - sat at the bar, had a Margarita and mexican food sampler.  Watched the sports channel, laughed at the talking heads.... got a little inebriated.

Then, off to pick up stuff for the cupcakes tomorrow.  I am entering the cake contest to support Breast Awareness bakeoff and am making cupcakes.  I could spend a lot of time talking about the cupcakes, but.... I won't.

Then to get the hair cut.  While I was in the chair, my baby brother called and wanted to meet with us in Angleton.  I only get to see him so rarely - I have to spend every minute possible with him.

It was a wonderful outing.  I got to relax and spend some quality time with my love.  He is indeed my best friend.  He is just..... it.

Pre-Wedding Jitters

I can't believe it.  My baby is seriously thinking of marriage.  This is Child B (if you saw one of the prior notes).  She always said that she would never get married.  Kids are not for her.....  *famous last words* 

As some would say, "Never say Never." 

She has found a young man who makes her heart go pitter-pat.  She recognizes that she is, as she puts it, a sucker for love - but she can't help herself.  *I think it is soooo cute!*  He does seem like the perfect specimen - handsome, intelligent, educated, a PLAN (with a capital P) for life.....  She could have done so much worse.

But her poor Daddy is having such a hard time adjusting to this event.  She is, after all, his baby girl.  The one he wished for, begged for, prayed for and was blessed with.  When I came out from under the anesthesia, he was holding her and rocking her and calling her his Pumpkin.  She has remained his Pumpkin since that time - and I believe, will continue to be his Pumpkin the rest of her life.  He, however, is concerned that he will lose her to this young upstart and heir to her affections.... 

Relax Dad!  A son is a son til he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life.  We will have them under our feet until we die.....  and that's a good thing.

Daily Grind

So, it is back to the daily grind.  Some of you may already be aware, but I am something of a workaholic.  I fight it regularly, but fail more than I succeed at 'life balance'.  By the way, who came up with that phrase - life balance?  And really, what does it mean?  Again, I digress.... 

For most of my adult life, I have worked outside the home.  I have great respect for those people who 'work inside the home' because it was too big of a job for me and I had to slink out of it with my tail between my legs - only to try to make my mark in the workforce place.  (It was just too much and seemed to be never-ending....  I just had to get out of the house.)  Anyway, I live, breathe and work my career.  I think about it when I am off and plan what I am going to do when I can get back to it.  I have withdrawal symptoms when I am away from it for more than 5-6 days (just like other -aholics).

Sometimes I wonder if my family had done an 'intervention' on me years ago, would it have helped?  I will be one of those people who is laying in the coffin thinking (go with me here), "I should have spent more time with my kids", or "I sure missed a lot of time with my (you fill in the blank here)." 

Do we all have ideas, plans, things that we wish we had taken time for?  I know I do....  But I am nearing the twilight time in my life and NOW I wonder???? 

I should have started wondering sooner.

College Football

Those of you who know me, will be surprised by this.... But I like College Football.  Those kids are so...... earnest.  Well, thanks to a very nice man, The SO and I went to the Houston Cougars game last night.  *It was painful to watch.*

The Coogs started out by blowing down the field and scoring on their first ball possession.  Then, I don't know, they must have sent out the cheerleaders because --- Miss State took over and manhandled those poor coogs so badly that I begged The SO if we could go home.  (Course, it could have had something to do with how badly my backside was hurting as well.??) 

Well, to get to the best part of the outing --- STADIUM FOOD.  I LOVE stadium food.  I had nachos with chili and cheese, a coke (defizzed of course), peanuts, skittles.....  I bet you are wondering where I put it all.  Well it took me 2 hours to eat it, but eat it I did.  YUMM - YUMM!!!  The SO also had a Chili Dog.  I didn't try it, but it looked good. 

But you know that there had to be a snake in the Eden in which we found ourselves immersed.  Sitting behind us.  An amature announcer who made it his goal in life to address the coach from the stands (and we were not directly behind the team....)  He commented on the plays, who should be playing, why players had been left off the roster, and which plays should have been called.  The worst, in my opinion, was when he would yell "HURT HIM!"  If that was my baby boy, I would have been very offended, but since it was someone else's baby boy, I was only semi-offended.

Now, I am a supporter of student athletics, but COME ON --- it is a sport.  Not a religion (although, this guy would likely disagree with me.)  Let's keep it clean folks.  These kids have to be able to walk into the future --- not wheel.

Walking on the beach today

You may not realize it, but God has a sense of humor.  And he usually shows it when I least expect it.

So, I got the SO (that significant other for those of you NOT in the know) up early today (around 0730) to go walk on the beach.  We have been house-bound for what feels like months, but in reality, only a few days because the SO has been sick (and if I may say it --- really whiney).  But I digress....  So we head out early to get in the required exercise and some fresh air - and to find some one of a kind shells (which by the way, we did NOT find...). 

We headed toward the Jetty on the beach.  There was a small area of the beach that we thought we could skirt the water edge and still make it to the Jetty -- but the afore mentioned sense of humor kicked in and got us.  As we watched, the surf was not coming up to the rocks - so let's make a break for it and try to get around the rocks before the surf comes back up.  *Did I say that I was not in my usual sandles and shorts, but in sneakers and wind pants?*  Just as we made it to the middle of the rocks,  *you guessed it*  the surf came in --- up to our knees!  RATS!  Now I am squishing as I walk, but why go back - I'm already wet.  So we continue to the end of the Jetty and finish the walk.

The wind was wonderful.  The sun was bright.  My feet were soaked -- but it was not enough to squelch my sense that all was right with the world.  My love at my side and obvious signs of God and his love around me.

What more can I ask for?    ....... except dry feet.

Blogging

Most blogs that I have had the pleasure of reviewing, address important issues - political views, social commentary, some sort of community improvement.  I just don't know if I have that kind of important views in me. 

I want to talk about the things I find interesting - some important, some not so important. 

How many of you out there believe that family is everything?  Well, it is my mantra.  My family is everything to me.  They are my support and my ball-and-chain.  My anchor and the anvil falling on my head.  I know that none of you have ever experienced that phenomenon....

My children are both the reason for the sun to rise and the bane of my existance.  Let's call them Child A and Child B to protect the innocent - and hide the guilty.

Years ago, Child A came into our lives in a bumpy start and quickly became very important to us.  I wonder sometimes if he had been the second child, would he be more outgoing and social, or is that reticence just part of his innate personality....  Does this boil down to nature VS nurture? 

I believe that everything about me is built into my DNA.  It was handed down to me from generations of grandmothers and grandfathers (and maybe a wild bull in the closet?).  My brown eyes.  My hair color.  The shape of my .... er .... backside. 

I don't see very much of me in Child A.  However, I do see some of my father and some of Child A's father - my significant other.  Both the things I love about the both of them and some of the things I wished were different are very apparent in my sweet Child A.  Could be advertisement for gene therapy...???  No, just kidding.  Child A is just as he is supposed to be. 

Could it be that I need to change?  I will ruminate on it.