So, I am looking back and I realize --- I haven't posted to my blog is sommmme time.  To my readers (such as you are) I do apologize.

Things around here have been hectic.

Professionally:  The program is moving along well.  I believe we will do fine at survey time.

Personally:  The spouse is a contributing part of society.  Child A is doing well - he does appear to be an adult.  I am very proud.  Child B continues to amaze me daily. 

Individually:  I am not taking very good care of myself.  But, I have learned better and will take this to heart.

What else?  I started school again.  *more letters behind my name*  Wonder what I will be when I grow up?

Does anybody know?  Cause I would sure like to know........

Amazing!

Floods.  Fires.  Wars.  Death.  Destruction.  Poor attitudes.  Illness.  ........ There is always something bad happening.  The Devil [or whatever you believe is the base of evil] is always busy at work in the world (it is his job and he is very good at it).  You can focus on this badness.  You can let it rule your world.  I see the evil - I simply prefer to focus on the good.  Its there.

You have to look harder.  Find the flower pushing up amid the weeds.  Its there.... I promise.

Yesterday, Autism Speaks hosted a walk at Mission Fitness on Highway 191 (Thank you so much to that organization!).  It was a SMASHING success.  The people of West Texas came out to a dusty, windy day to raise awareness for Autism.  They raised approximately $55,000 dollars to support Autism research.  About 600 walkers.  It was awe-inspiring. 

To the vendors who came out to the site, who donated in-kind and supplies, who's staff worked to raise money - THANK YOU cannot be enough.  You have my unending gratitude.

To the people who took the time from thier busy schedules to walk.  THANK YOU!  It brought tears to my eyes to see you on the walking track.

To the committee who worked so hard to make this a success.  THANK YOU.  I LOVE YOU GUYS.  See you again next year.

To the men in our family who have found a way to be successful with Autism.  You make me proud to be your *insert appropriate noun here*.  I love you guys.  You have made my life colorful and full.  I am proud to be able to claim you.

To my wonderful sister.  You are always up for whatever I dream up.  I could not ask for a better friend or family. 

THANK YOU.  And remember, without the darkness, you can't find the light.  And there is plenty of light out there - you just have to focus on it.

No Easter Bonnet for Me.....

For years, I tried to "keep up with the Jones".  I have given it up.  I much prefer to be me and if 'you' don't like it, too bad.  For years I was afraid that 'you wouldn't like me'.  I have given that up.  Your opinion is not the measure I use to measure my success. 

I used to worry that my 'Easter Bonnet' was not as good as yours.  I worred that my clothes were not nice enough.  I worried that my kids would not be accepted by yours..... 

Not so any more.  I am too old for that.  My life is half over.  I can't do anything about the past, but I can effect the future.  I can be happy with what I am.  I will be happy and content with what I am.

My 'Easter Bonnet' is as good as yours.  I know it.

The forgiveness I have received for my past is the reason I am able to face my future. 

Thank you.  You know who you are.....

Tired. So tired....

Tired.  I must have been tired, but did not know how tired.... Today, the hospital hosted a screening for student (teen) athletes to look for heart (cardiac) problems.  I would bet that everyone knows, or knows of, a youth who simply 'dropped dead' from heart problems on the .....  football field, basketball court, baseball diamond..... from cardiac trouble.  These kids are the reason Automated Electrical Defibrillators were invented and have been so promoted, although these AED's also are effective in other people.

In any case, I was manning the Stroke Booth.....  did you know that the youth (and their parents) make a wide berth for a Stroke Booth, although, I will give them, they were very gracious when I approached them with the literature.

And when I was finished telling them that children were also at risk, they were much more attentive and asking questions.  To a man, every teen was surprised by the information.  One gentleman told me he had had three strokes.  I told him he likely knew as much as did I about strokes, but he still wanted the literature.

May is National Stroke Month.  I will be so busy..... but that is a subject for another day.

I came home, fell asleep on the sofa, and slept for 4 *yes, 4* hours.  I must have been tired.

Well.......  No good deed goes unpunished.

Building Bridges and Relationships

Have you eve watched kids on a playground or in the back yard?  There is a hierarchy of 'superiority'.  It is the same with a flock of chickens.  Leaders and followers.... and those poor *insert appropriate noun here* who have been marginalized.  You can always recognize them.... they are the ones with no feathers on their heads or between their wings....  Poor things.

People are the same.  We recognize the social hierarchy.  And those poor *insert appropriate noun here* who have been marginalized by societal requirements.  Those who are not attractive enough.  Not smart enough.  Not *insert appropriate adjective here*.

Yesterday, I spent some time people watching at the Mall.  (This is the BEST place to learn about human nature.)  Anyway, we were raising money for Autism Speaks and awareness about Autism and to publicize the Autism Speaks Walk on April 30th.  *Plug for Autism following:  If you are in the Permian Basin on April 30th - Come out to Mission Fitness around 0900 and join our walk.  Advertisement ends here.*

This couple with a young boy walked up, and asked about what we were doing.  I told them and the mother/wife told me.... "My son is autistic."  I said, "Oh, COOL!  You will want to come out to the Walk" -- and proceeded to tell her about the Walk.

Now, there is some question whether that was the most appropriate comment I could have made......  Was it COOL that this child has autism?  I think everyone is blessed (or cursed) with whatever it is that makes them --- them.  So, in a sense, it is cool that this child is autistic.  For whatever reason.... he is special.  Unique!  A one of a kind. 

And isn't that COOL?

R. E. S. P. E. C. T. Find out what it means to me...

Life means change.  Growth.  Improvement or death.  The only thing constant in this life is change.  I would not be 20 again for all the dough in Pillsbury Town.  It was too hard.  Learning to be an adult.  As a very wise and wonderful woman once told me (*Diane - Plug here for you!*), young adults are experts at being children, but novices at being an adult.  Very wise words. 

Young adults must learn to interact positively with their peers (which now includes members from all walks of life and all ages).  They have to learn to manage themselves, their finances, their belongings....  They have to learn to manage life and relationships.  And to us who have been around the block a time or two, those memories are bitter-sweet - at least they are to me. 

I remember.... well, perhaps that is a subject for another time.... 

I think the hardest thing to learn is respect.  Respect for others' thoughts, feelings and opinions.  No longer is yours the only one that counts.... now you have to - at least acknowledge - that others have the right to their own opinion.  You do not have the right to ridicule someone else's way of life.  It is not your life, and you have no say in how they live their life.

Recently, a young man (who shall remain nameless to spare him the shame of his behavior) displayed very bad behavior in a public forum.  I was embarrassed for him and I was furious that he would display such a lack of respect for anyone, particularly toward the person/people to whom he displayed it.  SHAME!!!

The fellow who lives with me, loves with me and supports me would NEVER DREAM of talking to me the way this young man did to the young lady he proports to 'adore'.  That was NOT adoring behavior.  Even when the fellow who lives, loves and supports me and I were fighting like the proverbial cats and dogs, he NEVER spoke to me in such a disrespectful manner. 

To that young man, let me give you some advice.  Grow up.  Learn that there are so many ideas, things, opinions, beliefs..... out there.  You have your opinion and you have your belief and you have your ideas.... but they are not for everyone.  Denigrating, belittling and insulting only reflects badly on you.  It does not bring the opposition to your side ---- it further alienates them.

Learn tolerance.  Learn forgiveness.  Learn to love.  Learn to adore. 

....... And NEVER speak to someone like that EVER again.

Restful Afternoon

Nostalgia.  Memories.  Dreams. 

I think back over my life regularly.  Did I do well?  Have I been successful?  Will I continue to be able to make a difference in life?  Am I making other's lives better?

Pretty deep thoughts for a Saturday afternoon.  But as I sit here, listening to the conversation between Child A and the Significant Other....  I miss the past. 

I wish I had taken more time when I had it.  I wish I could spend time with those sweet little children who used to run to me an hug my knees when I got home from work.  What was I doing that was so important?  Why didn't I spend more time with those knee-high joys from my past?

But then I remember -- food.  housing.  Those trappings of 'success' that are required.  I felt I had to put food on the table for those tricycle motors, and shoes on thier feet, and a trip to the ice cream parlor when they wanted.....

Now I know why grandbabies are so important..... they give us another chance to be the person we should have been when we didn't.... wouldn't..... couldn't.  I would wish for another chance.  Please....?

Thank you.